Day 4:

Aaaaaargh dag 4, again suprisingly ordinary. Die virusse oorwin nogsteeds. My man het gisteraand met 'n bottel rooiwyn by die deur ingeloop en my maag is klaar op 'n knop oor my pa die naweek kom kuier - Fabulous!

Genadiglik is daar Koos en nogsteed nugterskap. Liewe Koos, soms vergeet ek dat jou battle net soos myne steeds dag vir dag aangaan. Ek raak so verkoek in my eie ellendes en paar vreugdes, dat ek dink ek soms te veel praat en te min luister. Die af vibe wat ek gevoel het was seker maar net bietjie intuisie dat dit dalk nie vandag so super met Koos gaan nie. Ek's jammer, ek moes geluister het. Ek vind myself net op 'n super eensame plek, waar dit voel asof die hele wereld teen my weerklink. Alles is hol en uitgedop. Dis moeilik om dit te beskryf. So 'n gevoel dat alles wat ek altyd gedink het eg, waar en normaal is, skep nou 'n vraagteken. En weer bevind ek my in 'n toestand van angs. Maar ek het God, Koos, my meisiekind en die lewe. Ek dink ek behoort okay te wees. Al is dit nog net vir vandag. Plus, ek dink vandag moet ek beslis Koos se raad vat, as jy nie kan goed doen nie, moet liewer ook nie sleg doen nie.

Sannie

Gister se mails:

Yes yes Sannie



Day 4, it seems from your blog had it's ups and downs...you are in the English vocab on day 4 and that's good. Will give me a little practice as well - check my spelling and tenses as you read between the lines. Thanks.


Young lady..did I mention to you the night we spoke about sponsorship that it is a two way street, you talk, I listen, I talk, you listen - we both learn, that is Fellowship in action...and that in sobriety the moon is not always full..as it should be. If I did not, I profoundly apologise, so for clarity sake...dear SS, let me repeat, in sobriety the moon is not always full...As it should be!! Your moon was not full yesterday, and it is going to happen again, as sure as God made little green apples. Remember: The world has not changed, YOU did. Thats is the miracle!!


You mention that after my answer received late last night you felt a bit "af vibe". If so, my words did not intend. Therefore my intro tonight about the moon and it's moods. "Some days we are the pigeon and some days we are the statue". I also believe that in life if you can't help, please don't hurt.


I am afraid my mind is playing games tonight, it seems that what I intend saying from the heart won't transpire on the screen via my fingers. As though I am in slow motion.


Therefore I think it wise to call it a day for now...if you cant help don't hurt feeling.


O Yes, before I retire..you where on the kitchen floor. That will prove to be the best place you have ever been, talking to God, praying to God, fighting with God...Sometimes we must watch out what we pray for...we might just get it, like the dog chasing the bus, what will he do with it once caught? The wonder of your prayer is that it is becoming true, that you know exactly what to do with it and sometimes wonder if it's only a dream. The AA journey has begun.. understanding becomes the truth, dreams become realities and today become forever.


I read frustration in your last add-on today...may the kisses blown in your direction be soothing and tender. Your worth it!


I spoke...I'm done for now...I am ready to listen and learn.
Enjoy!!
Koos