Feeling Alive

It was with absolute surprise that I noted today that I have almost been sober for 85 days. Now, for most people that really is a drop in the bucket - and really it is - but it has been 85 really hard days despite which I am still sober. That's the great part. In the past I would have given up or excused myself a long time ago. This time round I haven't needed to. And finally my husband (sober or not) has absolutely no impact on my sobriety. I have actually crossed that bridge. Not necessarily unscathed, but still, I am ALIVE and most importantly - SOBER.

I have allowed my soul to grow. I now look at experiences (good or bad) as just part of the teachings of life. Things happen. Sometimes repeatedly. Sometimes in greater magnitude than we can ever imagine ourselves coping with. Sometimes they happen in the form of silly little have-to-be-dealt-with issues more annoying that terrifying. Fact is - life happens. You either learn from it and allow your soul to grow, or you suffer. Your choice.

My latest have-to-be-dealt-with issue is a rat in my chicken coop. Can you imagine? It actually chews on my chickens while they are asleep. It's like it's saving some for later. It's disturbing. More disturbing is that I know some people who are like that. Still don't know what I'm going to do because poison is no option. I'm too scared one of my other pets might get hold of it and die accidentally. So I'll probably have to catch the little scavenger.

My sister dragged me out of bed at 5am this morning to go walking - power walking, not insane lets stroll while it's dark walking, no, insane marching like crazy people to fight the flab. I really hope it works. Once you're all warmed up it's kinda fun, but getting your over sized but out of bed at 5, well fun is not quite the word I'd use.

I went to the interview on Wednesday and what was supposed to be an informal "let's chat about it", turned into a full blown interview. I only got home past six-thirty. Things are really looking positive and I have made up my mind - pending their accepting of my salary requirements. So today its all about not trying to control, accepting, being grateful and really living. On the edge mostly - and finally not because I'm being pushed over it, but because I love the rush!