Moving forward

It's been a bumpy ride. The week felt long and draining. We had another family counseling session at the rehab my husband is attending and I had my stomach in a knot all week. I never know what to expect from him. One thing I am certain of is that I usually don't like what I hear. As predicted he tried to convince me of why I should be walking the path with him. I should come to more sessions with the counsellor etc. I explained to him very clearly (I hope), that I am getting help. That I am seeing my sponsor and attending Al-Anon regularly. I also tried to explain to him why it is impossible for me to continue with our marriage. He keeps telling me he just wants to come home and have everything as it was. Now that, dear friends is a scary thought. Going back to the way it was. I simply can't! I explained that nothing about that life was true. The bad parts where really bad and the good parts where my imagination. My marriage did not really exist and all I though I had built was only a pipe-dream. I have awakened to that reality, accepting it for what it is and am now trying to figure out how to keep moving forward regardless of what the day produces.
I am trying very hard to get my life back into balance, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It amazed me how easily alcoholics make it about them. My husband feels my newly found direction is a direct rejection of him as a person. Well, it's not. I reject chaos and madness and thus by default everyone causing or associating with it. He chose his path, I am now choosing mine. I have finally realised I am worthy and I refuse to be treated badly.
I am looking forward to the weekend. Jabulani is coming and we have some cement work to do. My daughter has a friends birthday party and on Sunday a dear friend I haven't seen in months is popping in.
I have some mosaic work I want to do and want to make a trip to the warehouse over lunch time. My garden is really getting there, and I am happy that the winter is finally over.