On believing

My garden is turning into a haven. It has taken blood, sweat and tears - literally, to get it to look alive this year. And it was well worth it. Sitting on my front porch last night anticipating the first automatic switch on of my newly installed garden lights, I really felt happy. Although I am terribly aware of the fact that I am only sitting in eye of the storm.

About three years ago, my husband and I went through a terrible financial disaster. It's a long story resulting in us suing someone else - court case still pending!!! - but at least we have been experiencing financial relief/stability in the meantime. I really though we would never get through it. It was by far the hardest, most humiliating, humbling time of my existence. Today I know what that experience was worth. I can list numerous crucial lessons I learnt from that episode:
1. We need allot less than we think.
2. No amount of material things can bring you the piece and happiness that a loving supportive family can.
3. Time really does heal all wounds.
4. We never go through anything we cannot handle.
5. Hard times teaches you to pray.

I don't know if anyone reading this is a believer or not. I am. And I can tell you this - God does exist. I have experienced miracles and a peace and calm that is hard to describe. God taught me that I cannot do everything, but with His help I can do anything. I really believe that. Whether it's staying sober or trying to balance my now really tight budget (again), I know I'll be okay. More than okay, in fact, I'll end up better.

So, sitting in the eye of this storm, I may not have all the answers and our meals may be well portioned, but I believe. More than ever I believe.