Escaping me

After a very long weekend of inner turmoil - I am back. Ready to fight the battle again. As they say in AA - keep coming back. Well, I'm back and I have had an epiphany. I am not just going to quit drinking. I have really tried to keep all aspects of my life the same - and not drink. This really stressed me out and made me so emotionally tired that I almost jumped off the cliff again. So this time I'm getting of the slippery slope. I am ripping out my core and replacing all the things I hate about my life - at once. I'm not just not drinking - I will also stop lying, to myself and others. I will not fear their judgment, but trust in God and my resolve. I will no longer be ashamed because I cannot live up to what others expect - I will only aspire to reach my own personal goals. I have had it with pussy footing around the actual reality of the problems I have with myself and my life. And I am angry enough to finally change it. I am so angry at this point that I really need to calm and compose myself before I do something uncontrollably rash. And I don't need anyone to help me through this. I love myself enough to do this for me. And quite frankly - If my life doesn't suite you, get the hell out of it. I'm done with being miserable. I am done with accommodating and I am done with negotiating. Some things are right and some things are wrong. So here's to no more grey areas, freedom, security and patience.
I am going to be happy. And stay that way. No matter what.