Accept what is

In once sense, accepting what if is a given. What is - the reality of the moment - can't be otherwise, so why fight it? But acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It's also an invitation to dig deeper. That's where we strike gold. Beneath appearances lies a more nuanced level of reality. It's like looking at someones face and seeing the story behind it. Everything is precious once we know how to look - Book of days October

I came upon this piece on a very low day. It got me thinking. It is so true. My life right now scares me some days, but mostly it excites me. The possibilities are endless. I have to calm myself down to prevent myself from attempting a million things at once thus creating my own chaos!
I hired a gardener this weekend. What an angel! A handyman of note with a soft demeanor and a glorious sense of humor. A kind young man with respect for nature and other human beings. I think Jabulani and I will walk together for a while.
With Jabulani I made a lot of progress getting my garden back to a tolerable state. There are so many things that needs fixing and mending, most of all my heart. But for now I am focusing on accepting, truly believing, that what is, is. I could not have changed anything. I could not have altered my current reality had I done more, less or differently. It just is. And it really isn't that bad. It's just new.
My daughter is getting better everyday. Less and less outbursts and anger. We are having fun conversations on some weird topics and sometimes seeing things through her eyes really simplifies it. Parents should pay attention to what their children say. They don't sugarcoat things. I feel like I am getting closer to her.
I attended my homegroup Al-anon meeting last night. It was good to be surrounded with so much love and understanding. It really never is easy to do the right thing. One of the girls fiancee had his firs AA birthday. It left me with a bit of despair. How I prayed for that to be my husband. I am happy for them, but what is is.