So when it actually happens

So it happened. My husband hit rock bottom. Long story short he was arrested for drunk driving on Sunday, tried to lie about it on Monday, in rehab on Tuesday.
I am so grateful for Al-Anon today. If I had not started attending Al-Anon and learned how to detach with love, my week would look very different so far. I would have been bailing him out at 2:00am on Monday morning, let him stay with me because I felt sorry (taking a day off) and I would have been left with the bill for rehab - that's if we went that route!
Instead I had a good nights rest on Sunday, told him to not make his problems mine on Monday and had his father pay the rehab bill on Tuesday.
I felt guilty last night. And very sad. It flt like I had deserted him. But I know, thanks to Al-Anon, that he is exactly where he should be and so am I.
God has been very good to me. I am very sad. I think it's normal because my heart is broken, but I have so much peace. It's finally over. Weather he recovers or not, for me the chaos is over. He will be locked up for 3 months with no way to contact me. Finally some real peace and quiet. Finally.
I will pray for him everyday and I will have a moments silence for him everyday. But that is it.
My new job is turning out to be very challenging and busy. I love it. I feel renewed, my self esteem has skyrocketed and I am taking care of myself. In between all the sadness a little glimmer of happiness keeps poking it's head out. I have some major resentments to work through, but I am getting there, one day at a time. Best part, through all of this I had managed to stay sober, because I did not want to or need to drink. I could find solutions that actually worked. I survived. Now I just need to live.
Today I'm not closing the book, I'm turning the page. It's time for a new chapter.