When nothing is surprising

Yesterday's emptiness have been defined. I was flabbergasted. Because I knew my husband was lying - to my face, straight arrow. After promising for two weeks how much he has changed and regretted what he did. I was blatantly being taken for a ride. Openly, like I won idiot of the year. Best of all is, I was actually considering asking him to come home. Now, we are at a point where if he contacts me I'm getting a restraining order.
I asked him for some peace and quiet. Just some time to think things over, stop fighting, get some perspective, and then work it out. But for the last week I have had to have 1 hour conversations on a daily basis, mostly consisting of him trying to persuade me and it all ending in another fight. He might as well have been home. But I've had it. I just cracked. And I'm am angry. For a change not at myself.
Why is this happening? Why is it so unbelievably hard for my husband to not just think of his own desires and situation? Why can't he just give me what I need for once without me having to fight for it!
But today is a new day. And I'm starting all over again. Like I do every morning. Let's see if today is a better day.