Day 64: Eating humble pie

Going to my Monday meetings always gets my head spinning. It really makes me think. Last night I went to my meeting filled with resentment, frustration and anger. I get so disillusioned when I believe that I have everything in my life under control and then something happens - or doesn't happen - that make me start wondering about how much control I actually have. Last night I realised that 90% (at least) of what I am trying to control, is beyond my control.

I cannot keep my husband sober and force him to do the 12 steps.
I cannot have a perfect routine everyday.
My house can not always be spotless.
Everything can not always be done my way - sometimes the new path in my garden does not need to be straight.

This is just some silly examples, but there are so many things, that upset me so profusely, that I have absolutely no control over. And I do not know how to not try and control it. I simply don't know where to even begin. Asking God to take control is one thing - actually letting Him is another.

I believe that I have to start working at being humble. I have always felt that I do enough for my family, that I sacrifice enough and that I consider them enough. But then, why does it make me resentful? So this is what I found:

Humility


Humility or humbleness is a quality of being courteously respectful of others. It is the opposite of aggressiveness, arrogance, boastfulness, and vanity. Rather than, "Me first," humility allows us to say, "No, you first, my friend." Humility is the quality that lets us go more than halfway to meet the needs and demands of others.

Friendships and marriages are dissolved over angry words. Resentments divide families and co-workers. Prejudice separates race from race and religion from religion. Reputations are destroyed by malicious gossip. Greed puts enmity between rich and poor. Wars are fought over arrogant assertions.

Humility as a virtue is a major theme of both the Old and New Testaments. Why do qualities such as courtesy, patience and deference have such a prominent place in the Bible? It is because a demeanor of humility is exactly what is needed to live in peace and harmony with all persons. Humility dissipates anger and heals old wounds. Humility allows us to see the dignity and worth of all God's people. Humility distinguishes the wise leader from the arrogant power-seeker.
Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, than a fattened ox and hatred with it. (NAS, Proverbs 15:17)
Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice. (NIV, Proverbs 16:8)
It is better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. (NAS, Proverbs 16:19)
Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. (NIV, Proverbs 16:32)
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. (NIV, Proverbs 17:1)

A humble demeanor is not a denial of our worth as individuals. Rather, it is the tool that allows us, insofar as possible, to be on good terms with all persons.

'Nough said.....